O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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