I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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