then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
