why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wear drunk well.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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