you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
