oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
