? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
