Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
