Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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