is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
