man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
