Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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