Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ok first of all what the fuck
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
