..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
