In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
