im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
