i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
