Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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