Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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