Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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