At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
