It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
