i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
