he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
