It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
