I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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