Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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