I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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