i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
