And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
