My liver just broke up with me...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
