But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
