it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
