Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
