May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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