soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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