At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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