if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
