Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
