I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
