I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
