Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
