The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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