Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
