Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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