there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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