And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Alive.
So much puke
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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