Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
