I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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