I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
